I have been learning how to tattoo! And I am loving it. If you are in Seattle and are interested in getting on my books, send me an e-mail stefariart@gmail.com
re: Message #29104Z: A planet pulled me in and made me crash as I was on the run from the intergalactic cops
Gravity is a masshole dude, stupid concept really, should have been scrapped it in v2 but I guess they had to grandfather it in for the early adopters.
Funny story actually, I ended up accidentally flipping the gravitational constant in my last instance of the multiverse after phoning my USP’s negative floating point 800 support number. The Operator Intelligence must have interpreted my dialpad input as hexidecimal instead of base-10 though, because right afterwards (well about 8 minutes later actually) the Sun was erased with a very slowly expanding event horizon. I called back and they’d only offer to reboot my reality connection to fix it because all of their technicians were booked til the next macrocosmetic epoch (seriously fed up, I switched to Cosmoscast after all this shit, fuck it). Sooo I had to back everything up to tape drive cause I’m not gonna rebuild the fucking Indian subcontent again again after all the work I put into planning the planetary forces necessary to set in motion those GODDAMN plate techtonics.
The real kick in the teeth though? It took 10e9 YEARS, no joke, to dump everything to my co-lo at Alpha Centauri because when they detected the temporal distortion around my local system they locked me out from using quantum tunneling to parallelize the process through my other metaAWS instances as a “security measure”. One of the most boring Eternities I’ve sat though (do have to say though I did get really good at Go…)
